items that looks blush to wear of the wedding

I'm not meant to be on time. Here's a prime example... left early to take Addison and Tristan to NAS for Girl's Day of Aviation...
1. Get in the car at 8:55 and make my way to NAS with 4 littles in my car. ALRIGHT!! I'm off to a good start, I don't have to be there until 10.
2. 9:38...pulling up up front gate. I'M DOING GOOD!!!!! This is so not like me, usually I'm NASCAR driving to get to where I need to be in the hopes cops aren't out or if they are, they're lazy, not fee ... ling it or maybe think I'm am undercover in my black Tahoe. Anyways, you get my point...
3.This is where it goes downhill... Pull up to the guard and he denies me access to the front gate (that's a first). He tells me I have to take the back gate. biggie, I left early...I got time
4. I have to get on Gulf Beach Highway and guess what's in front of me...A FRICKIN BOBCAT JUST PUT-PUTTIN' DOWN THE ROAD!!! I NO LONGER HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
5. FINALLY...I get to the back gate with 5 minutes to spare...
6."MA'AM...can you pull over to the side for me, please?" shit...
7. "Ma'am, you've been randomly selected for a background screening, do you consent?" you know damn well if I don't, I'll get the Heissman (think of the pose on the trophy). So I answer in my most sarcastic, yet chirpy..
8. 10:00...patiently waiting for my background check to come back and SUDDENLY I HEAR IT! The worst sound a mother with a child in a car seat can ever hear..MY 2 YR OLD JUST UP AND PROJECTILE VOMITED ALL OVER HERSELF, THE CARSEAT AND IT'S POSSIBLE SOME MAY HAVE MADE IT OVER THE SEAT (STUPID 3RD ROW). Suddenly Addison and Tristan start freaking out about the smell. Those who know Addison well, know she'll start gagging ...At this point I know I've lost to the game of being early or even on time, but I'll be dammed if I'm any later than 10 minutes. I've now turned it into a competition inside my brain. I'm throwing numbers and hypotheticals around like I work for Boeing or NASA. I go into overwhelmed mom mode and snap at Addison telling her to suck it up and breathe out of her mouth because I've come too far for her to puke. She can either go in with a clean white shirt, puked on shirt or if I have to I'll send Carter in her place and tell the directors he identifies as a girl and back off (I'm joking mom). items that looks blush to wear of the wedding
9. 10:03..."you're cleared ma'am, you're not a member of Isis and we thank you for that. ME...I'm not even a member of my kid's PTA, but yeah sure, you're welcome??
10. Pull up at 10:08, rip Hensley's puked on clothes off and put new ones on. checked in at least I was on time for my back up time.
So time someone complains about my tardiness and tells me it's simple, just leave earlier...I'm simply blessing their hearts and offering to light a candle for them.

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